005 ✫ Video

[useofaswhat]

Looks like someone decided it's autumn, even though it ain't autumn 'cause we're not spinning round a sun and don't have seasons. Anyone got an idea why the Admiral thinks we all need t'be showered with dead plants?

The way I see it, there ain't any use for raining down magic leaves outta nowhere except to crunch when you walk on 'em. Seems we might as well get some use outta them. Any of you folks ever build bonfires back home? Wouldn't be too hard to rake up a pile and light it in the CES. Don't sound like a bad time, specially not if someone saved any of the rotgut from that last history-time break. [Duo? He's looking at you.]

Comments

[useofaswhat]

Huh. Never heard of it, but I can't say it doesn't sound a touch familiar. What kind of punishing do they do there?

[love_slave]

A lot of murder, a lot of brainwashing, a lot of "modification" to make sure that people were obedient or useful. It was horrible.

The Lexx was made to threaten entire planets. I'm glad we stole it.

Yours is like that?

[useofaswhat]

Dà xiàng bàozhà shì de lādùzi. I ain't sure I even want to ask what their "modification" is. Gorram, I thought my 'verse was bad.

Who'd you steal it from?

Uh, kind of. Yeah, we got the Alliance breathin' down our necks and the murdering and, you know, the brainwashing and such [he really doesn't want to get into that at all, considering Simon could see this]. It's been a couple years since they scorched a planet but they never stopped doing the rest.

[love_slave]

[It's oddly gratifying to meet someone from a similarly horrible universe, though she doesn't want to say that. Sometimes she feels like the odd woman out.]

We stole it from the Divine Order, the people that were going to use it. You have a ship?

[useofaswhat]

[He gets the feeling hers might be a bit more horrible though it's a bit early to be making calls like that. Still, it's a relief to talk to someone from similar circumstances – he doesn't know anything about League of 20,000 or the Divine Order, but it sounds a lot closer to home than some of the other places Barge people came from.

What a hell of a thing to have in common.] Divine Order. Right, nothing holier'n a good bout of conditioning.

Yeah, Serenity. She's a slightly smaller vessel than your giant planet destroyer, I'm wagering.

[love_slave]

Oh yes, it's a very big ship. I've never encountered one larger. [Unless Darth Vader is your boss there's a good chance her ship is bigger.] But I know size is no indication of ability.

[She'll just let that triple meaning hang around, considering her ship, that she once was very different looking, and whatever else a love slave could mean by that.]

[useofaswhat]

Figured so, governments usually don't skimp on their spacecraft. They go for the – [Suddenly he's uncomfortable, catching just a double meaning and momentarily losing all eloquence.] Oh, my ship's able.

[yeahscience]

Last year I mostly just got what my girlfriend asked for me.

[breakingmyheart]

I think it's the Admiral's way of helping us mark the time.

December's much worse.

[love_slave]

What's your position on it? [She's going to be playing up her faint space pseudo-German accent as cutely as she can now, thank you.]

[useofaswhat]

[Oh God. She's doing it, she's using wiles, and suddenly Mal is entirely out of his element.] Uh. I – I'd be the captain.

[useofaswhat]

It's more'n cold enough up here and he thinks we need a winter too.

[useofaswhat]

So he gives you what other people ask for? No way that can go wrong.

[breakingmyheart]

The snow's been mentioned. It's also the case that he starts installing indestructible magic mistletoe that forces people to kiss if they happen to pass by it at the same time.

[love_slave]

[She's been specially designed to have some awesome wiles.] And how well do you guide your ship, Captain?

[useofaswhat]

Wǒniǎotāde.* I'm gonna watch where I step real carefully then.

*Damn him.

[useofaswhat]

[He can kind of tell. It's almost enough to make him sweat, but he's not going to take it lying down.] I've steered her through some rough times but I run a pretty tight ship in the end.

[Mal isn't really one for flirting.]

[love_slave]

[She's going to laugh and throw on her best grin here.] I've not met many Captains into that. I will have to remember for future reference.

[useofaswhat]

[Did he just blush? No, it's your imagination. He returns her grin with a crooked half-smile, wondering if she's her universe's equivalent of a Companion.] Do you ask all the captains that?

[yeahscience]

Jesus, you think? It was okay last year, but... [Oh, God. Now he's thinking of all the way that can go wrong.]

[Private]

[anidiotchild]

You're seriously going to encourage a bunch of unstable murderers to set things on fire in the enclosure. [Hi, Captain, have you missed Simon's I think you're completely insane voice? I know you have. c:]

[love_slave]

[She has a pretty good imagination. She's something like that, even if she mostly uses it for herself now.] Only the ones with nervous smiles.

[useofaswhat]

[Yep, that's the kind of talk he assumes happens between Inara and her clients. It's alien territory for Mal, and this entire situation is getting a little uncomfortable.] Right. Okay. And... you run into a lot of those?

[love_slave]

Actually no. They're few and far between. [Poor Mal. He had no warning for that ambush.]

[useofaswhat]

You're askin' me to get inside the Admiral's head, and I'm fair sure that's a place I never want to visit. Just wouldn't surprise me if he did.