005 ✫ Video

[useofaswhat]

Looks like someone decided it's autumn, even though it ain't autumn 'cause we're not spinning round a sun and don't have seasons. Anyone got an idea why the Admiral thinks we all need t'be showered with dead plants?

The way I see it, there ain't any use for raining down magic leaves outta nowhere except to crunch when you walk on 'em. Seems we might as well get some use outta them. Any of you folks ever build bonfires back home? Wouldn't be too hard to rake up a pile and light it in the CES. Don't sound like a bad time, specially not if someone saved any of the rotgut from that last history-time break. [Duo? He's looking at you.]

Comments

[useofaswhat]

Dà xiàng bàozhà shì de lādùzi. I ain't sure I even want to ask what their "modification" is. Gorram, I thought my 'verse was bad.

Who'd you steal it from?

Uh, kind of. Yeah, we got the Alliance breathin' down our necks and the murdering and, you know, the brainwashing and such [he really doesn't want to get into that at all, considering Simon could see this]. It's been a couple years since they scorched a planet but they never stopped doing the rest.

[love_slave]

[It's oddly gratifying to meet someone from a similarly horrible universe, though she doesn't want to say that. Sometimes she feels like the odd woman out.]

We stole it from the Divine Order, the people that were going to use it. You have a ship?

[useofaswhat]

[He gets the feeling hers might be a bit more horrible though it's a bit early to be making calls like that. Still, it's a relief to talk to someone from similar circumstances – he doesn't know anything about League of 20,000 or the Divine Order, but it sounds a lot closer to home than some of the other places Barge people came from.

What a hell of a thing to have in common.] Divine Order. Right, nothing holier'n a good bout of conditioning.

Yeah, Serenity. She's a slightly smaller vessel than your giant planet destroyer, I'm wagering.

[love_slave]

Oh yes, it's a very big ship. I've never encountered one larger. [Unless Darth Vader is your boss there's a good chance her ship is bigger.] But I know size is no indication of ability.

[She'll just let that triple meaning hang around, considering her ship, that she once was very different looking, and whatever else a love slave could mean by that.]

[useofaswhat]

Figured so, governments usually don't skimp on their spacecraft. They go for the – [Suddenly he's uncomfortable, catching just a double meaning and momentarily losing all eloquence.] Oh, my ship's able.

[love_slave]

What's your position on it? [She's going to be playing up her faint space pseudo-German accent as cutely as she can now, thank you.]

[useofaswhat]

[Oh God. She's doing it, she's using wiles, and suddenly Mal is entirely out of his element.] Uh. I – I'd be the captain.

[love_slave]

[She's been specially designed to have some awesome wiles.] And how well do you guide your ship, Captain?

[useofaswhat]

[He can kind of tell. It's almost enough to make him sweat, but he's not going to take it lying down.] I've steered her through some rough times but I run a pretty tight ship in the end.

[Mal isn't really one for flirting.]

[love_slave]

[She's going to laugh and throw on her best grin here.] I've not met many Captains into that. I will have to remember for future reference.

[useofaswhat]

[Did he just blush? No, it's your imagination. He returns her grin with a crooked half-smile, wondering if she's her universe's equivalent of a Companion.] Do you ask all the captains that?

[love_slave]

[She has a pretty good imagination. She's something like that, even if she mostly uses it for herself now.] Only the ones with nervous smiles.

[useofaswhat]

[Yep, that's the kind of talk he assumes happens between Inara and her clients. It's alien territory for Mal, and this entire situation is getting a little uncomfortable.] Right. Okay. And... you run into a lot of those?

[love_slave]

Actually no. They're few and far between. [Poor Mal. He had no warning for that ambush.]

[useofaswhat]

[Worse still, he's barely familiar with these rules of engagement.] What're you playin' at, lady?

[love_slave]

I'm teasing you because you're attractive when you're uncertain.

[Bushes? Beating around them? No, Zev just plows right through.]

[useofaswhat]

Ah. [He doesn't quite understand, so he'll be attractive for a little bit longer.] Do you mind not doin' that?

[love_slave]

Do you have a girl you like very much? [Because most of the time when guys say they things like that, they are either really into a special girl, or like boys.]

[useofaswhat]

No. [It's said a touch reluctantly. There's Inara – but Inara left Serenity for the Companion's House back on Sihnon and made it painfully clear she didn't plan on returning.] Just – most ladies figure pretty quick that whatever they're looking for, I ain't it.

[love_slave]

Oh... Well if it helps, all I ever want is people to treat me like a person. I didn't have that very much before I came here. I only had two friends- the people that I stole the ship with. [And they became friends afterwards.]

[useofaswhat]

People didn't give that to you before? Why? What the hell sort of place were you living in?

[love_slave]

Not a very good one. [Her understatement of the century.] But I wasn't allowed anywhere on my own until I escaped, so two friends in a very short period of time I think is doing very well. [Hush, she's proud of herself.]

But if you promise you will be my friend, I won't tease you anymore. Agreed?

[useofaswhat]

You ain't kidding about that. [The only people in his 'verse who get treated that badly are slaves, and even some of them got all right treatment from their owners. Looks like his hunch is correct; her 'verse is probably worse.] – Yeah, better'n plenty of folk could do. But not till then? For your whole life? Tā mā de yīgè yúbèn de mǔgǒu de érzi what did – What is wrong with that place?

[That's all it took?] All right. Friends is somethin' I can agree to. I'm Mal.

[love_slave]

I didn't know there were places where people weren't treated like that until I came here- but I knew it was wrong there, at least.

[She's pretty easy, mostly in the good ways (except it gets her lied to sometimes).]I'm Zev Bellringer of B3K. What did what you said just mean?

[useofaswhat]

Well there are! There's plenty! You end up in a place like that, you do what you gotta to leave and you don't stop till you find a world where they treat people like people.

Oh, that? [He chuckles a little nervously.] Just somethin' you probably don't want me to translate.