001 ✫ Video

[useofaswhat]

Afternoon, folks. – Evenin', now. [The man on screen clears his throat and nods in greeting, a little awkwardly. (And no, he's not actually wearing a floral bonnet. Today.)] This Admiral fella wanted a handful o' help and thought I was the man to give it so wǒ zài zhèlǐ. Name's Captain Reynolds, Mal if you ain't one to stand on ceremony. I'm sure it's fine to meet you all, and if it ain't, you go ahead an' let me know. [There's a smile purely for the sake of decorum, which drops off his face almost immediately as his eyes rake over something off-screen, as if reading.]

Let's see what we got here, then... Prison ship, eight levels and two additional restricted areas, complete with library, common rooms, medbay, an' my personal favorite, fully stocked kitchen. Probably serves better'n protein too. Laundry services, showers, art therapy facilities, and gardens included. Now that don't sound like any prison I ever been to. Hell, y'all even got a bar? Got quite a slick operation here, real nice 'n cozy.

But it still ain't as good as my boat.

Comments

[useofaswhat]

I'll say it's a pleasure if you don't call me a rude liar.

[Video]

[slayage]

[Sorry Mal.] Uh..

Well. Vampires. Werewolves. Magic. Aliens. Superheroes. Cyborgs.

..That's just some of the residents. Then there's floods that turn you into someone you know from home, or make you switch bodies with someone. Breaches that put you in the old west with an entirely different background, visits to nuclear wastelands, oh, and, sometimes a magic high school.

...It's, uh. You get used to it.

[persuadeyou]

Ouch. Lying already?

I'm still waiting to hear where you're from, Captain.

[unweeping_willow]

...What was your boat?

[hungryanhorny]

That why you're on this one?

[useofaswhat]

Lot o' interferin' busybodies lookin' to put everyone where they want 'em in line.

[Video]

[useofaswhat]

[She's really not kidding. He was expecting weird, but the kind of weird where, well, your war buddy comes back to life or you end up married after a night of drinking. Not this kind of weird.]

Uh.

...no way to duck outta that, is there?

[Video]

[slayage]

[Apologetic look.] Sorry.

But, hey, there's fun stuff too. Like. Pool parties. And- [...] There's stuff.

I've been here for a while and had to deal with just about as much weirdness back home, so, if you need anything-

[useofaswhat]

Firefly-class ship called Serenity. Best boat in the Black.

[useofaswhat]

If I could do the work I needed without steppin' foot on this barge, I'd do it.

[impure_tale]

Welcome to our ship, Captain Reynolds.

[useofaswhat]

Still honest enough to say it's a lie.

And you can keep on waitin'.

[useofaswhat]

Appreciate that, Mr. ...?

[persuadeyou]

Just curious about your universe.

New York City, 2010. Is that familiar?

[impure_tale]

Most call me the Marquis. Pleased to make your acquaintance.

[yeahscience]

The whole thing pretty much runs on magic anyways, yo. If you think about it too much it just gives you a freaking headache.

It's from this movie... Don't worry about it.

[truth_is_cold]

The Magog mostly. Snub nosed aliens that have to kill their prey to eat, and infect sentient beings with their spawn. Brutal, and technologically capable as they are unpleasant.

[And others of his own kind but that's complicated and he just really hates the Magog.]

[Warden Filter]

[scentbombed]

I don't know, Captain -- it's a world turtle.

Really? Sounds like I'd be right at home in one of your... border worlds, then. We don't have it at all. That part of coming here was a very nice change indeed.

[thestarspangledman]

Only wardens can get into the bar in theory, but it does exist. There's also a gym, if you're interested.

[And a polite, friendly smile, because this is Captain Puppy you're talking to here, Mal.] Welcome to the barge, Captain Reynolds. I'm Steve Rogers.

[Video]

[useofaswhat]

That's great, I'll trust you on that one.

I'll let you know. Think I might just let it [a vague gesture] you know. Sink in.

[useofaswhat]

Marquis. Right. [Is he supposed to bow or something? Inara's not around to prompt him into proper etiquette so he just sort of jerks his head downward in an awkward gesture.] Pleasure's all mine.

[useofaswhat]

Then we better make sure it works in practice, right?

Xièxiè. How long you been here, Steve?

[impure_tale]

Unaccustomed to well-stocked kitchens, Captain?

[useofaswhat]

Okay, I'll leave the thinkin' about it to someone else.

[Video]

[slayage]

Okay. [Nervous grin.] Yeah, good.