useofaswhat | 001 ✫ Video

Afternoon, folks. – Evenin', now. [The man on screen clears his throat and nods in greeting, a little awkwardly. (And no, he's not actually wearing a floral bonnet. ~~Today.~~)] This Admiral fella wanted a handful o' help and thought I was the man to give it so wǒ zài zhèlǐ. Name's Captain Reynolds, Mal if you ain't one to stand on ceremony. I'm sure it's fine to meet you all, and if it ain't, you go ahead an' let me know. [There's a smile purely for the sake of decorum, which drops off his face almost immediately as his eyes rake over something off-screen, as if reading.]

Let's see what we got here, then... Prison ship, eight levels and two additional restricted areas, complete with library, common rooms, medbay, an' my personal favorite, fully stocked kitchen. Probably serves better'n protein too. Laundry services, showers, art therapy facilities, and gardens included. Now that don't sound like any prison I ever been to. Hell, y'all even got a bar? Got quite a slick operation here, real nice 'n cozy.

But it still ain't as good as my boat.

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Yeah, I guess I am. [:]] The last time I was home, it was 2003.

[It's even more than that, Mal. So much more than that. :|]

Well he's dead now. If that's comforting. ... Face-twins aside and all. [Ahem.] Anyway. If you have any questions about anything, I'm your girl.

2003? Shèng tā mā de... You're old.

Long's you don't feel like seein' me go the same way, we'll call it a relief.

[Half-smiles.] Thanks, but I think I got it. – Oh wait! Why've you got a shark?

[WIDE EYES.] Old? N-No, not old. Young. Very y- Not very young- [....] I'm twenty two, er, three if you count barge-years. Just from the past, not- [Buffy gives up with a sigh.]

[Little shrug.] So far you aren't inspiring violent feelings. [A teasing smirk.] I think you're safe.

The shark belonged to a guy that used to be here. I think it was his pet or something.

Twenty-three or not, you're from 2003. Had to've been born in 1980, right? You're old.

[He smirks back, just a little.] I'll aim to keep it that way.

An' it just stayed? No one made soup outta it?

Hey. Maybe from where you're standing, future-man. But I am young and full of pep.

[Blink.]

Nope. We generally don't.. kill animals here. Potentially tasty or not. Especially if they're pets... And the shark's cool.

You're from over five hundred years ago, you're old. Don't matter how young an' peppy you are, you're an old lady.

Thank kinda place, huh? [That's something of a change of pace, considering his ranch-boy background. But he's seen plenty of communities that hold off on butchering animals – though that usually just means they pay someone else to do it for them.] What do y'all do all day?

Say, remember how I said there were no violent feelings yet? [Smirk and significant look.]

Warden-y things. Inmate-y things.

I'm in the gym a lot.

Then there's the usual deaths and/or chaos. Sometimes we turn into entirely different people. It's never exactly boring.

Yeah, I do tend to bring those out in womenfolk. [Have a winning, cocky smile back.]

Whoa, back up there. Not to th'deaths and chaos part, what d'you mean turning into different people?

[Smile... Then Buffy goes about explaining complex things simply and terrible things with way too much casualness. Like it's normal. Cause it kinda is to her.]

We have these things called floods, or breaches. Basically, the Admiral's either the worst driver ever and hits stuff accidently a lot, or he does it on purpose and he's just a jerk. We run into energies from different realities or dimensions and uh-

Sometimes we act differently, or.. become people who aren't us with different memories. Basically any crazy thing you can think of can and will happen here. Happens at least every other week.

[Hello hard pill, you're difficult to swallow.] You really ain't kiddin', are you? What kinda crazy happens here that I oughtta know about?

[Sorry Mal.] Uh..

Well. Vampires. Werewolves. Magic. Aliens. Superheroes. Cyborgs.

..That's just some of the residents. Then there's floods that turn you into someone you know from home, or make you switch bodies with someone. Breaches that put you in the old west with an entirely different background, visits to nuclear wastelands, oh, and, sometimes a magic high school.

...It's, uh. You get used to it.

Edited 2012-08-02 04:38 (UTC)

[She's really not kidding. He was expecting weird, but the kind of weird where, well, your war buddy comes back to life or you end up married after a night of drinking. Not this kind of weird.]

Uh.

...no way to duck outta that, is there?

[Apologetic look.] Sorry.

But, hey, there's fun stuff too. Like. Pool parties. And- [...] There's stuff.

I've been here for a while and had to deal with just about as much weirdness back home, so, if you need anything-

That's great, I'll trust you on that one.

I'll let you know. Think I might just let it [a vague gesture] you know. Sink in.

Okay. [Nervous grin.] Yeah, good.

Think it might take awhile.

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