008 ✫ Video

[useofaswhat]

[One of these announcements. He hasn't ordered anyone around via electronics in a couple of months, Natasha excluded (and it's not like she listens anyway), and it feels good for Mal to be back in the saddle. It makes the whole Barge thing a little easier to get a grip on.]

Firefly-class Serenity, come in if you read. This is your captain speaking direct from a giant eyesore hellboat. Frequency's open and I ain't going anywhere. How're y'all getting along?

River. You around there, girl? Seems your brother needs a little looking-after.

Comments

[holdthisground]

Captain, this is Serenity. We are... exactly where you left us ten minutes ago.

Hitting the tonic a little heavy, sir?

[useofaswhat]

Gorram, it's good to hear your voice. So she's holdin' up fine, huh?

Ain't touched a drop since Tuesday. It don't sound possible if I explain it, there's a reason I'm talking like I took a wallop to the head. That's 'cause it's real, Zoë. But believe me, I'm gonna be back in a minute.

[holdthisground]

[She waits patiently for it to make sense - the Captain usually does if you give him long enough, she's found - expression unchanging.]

Yes, we're doing fine. Kaylee's still throwing half a fit about that generator clip, but it's nothing we can't handle.

As long as we both understand that you're not making any sense, sir.

[useofaswhat]

[Sorry, Zoë, but you might be waiting for a little while.] Generator's still running, so it's got some life in it yet. She'll have to make do till we get paid 'less we find a wreck to pick clean soon.

That part we're clear on. Long story short, I'm doing a man a favor 'fore I cash in one in turn. The details ain't gonna make it any clearer.

Shouldn't be gone but a few minutes.

[holdthisground]

[It's alright, she's used to that, too.]

She knows that, sir. She just likes to make sure we don't forget about things, and this is how she does it.

I don't... [No, she doesn't really need to understand, even if she'd like to. That doesn't mean she can't come at it from a different angle, though.]

And if you are?

[useofaswhat]

We don't forget these things, she don't give us a chance. [Complaining and all, he still manages to sound plenty fond.]

We're sittin' pretty over here, doubt I will be. But if I'm late, don't you wait 'round for me. Get everyone else on board, get the goods to the rendezvous point, and make sure Jayne doesn't do anything stupid. Well, too stupid.

With me or without me there, we miss the drop time and we miss the payout. Get paid, refuel, an' wait for my wave.

[And here he pauses.]

You, uh, heard from Inara?

[holdthisground]

Sir, I know how to get paid - not sure the man or woman's been born yet that can keep Jayne from doing something stupid if he's set his heart on it, but I'll do my best.

I'm just... [Just nothing. She visibly resets herself, especially when talk turns to Inara, and shakes her head seriously.]

No, sir. She'll come back around when she's ready and not a moment before.

[useofaswhat]

I know you do, 's why you're in charge right now. And you will be if Hell gets a frost and I don't get back in time, but don't start biting your nails yet.

So you wager we ain't going to see her again.

[holdthisground]

Good, because I've been working on this manicure all morning.

[Flat,dry, her usual fare. Then somehow more serious still:]

That's not what I said.

[keepsthemsafe]

..Firefly class?

[useofaswhat]

If you've gotta ask that this message ain't for you.

[keepsthemsafe]

Then get the fuck offa my iphone.

[useofaswhat]

Get your phone offa me.

[keepsthemsafe]

...I could if I would motherfucker!

[justabase]

I would like to speak with you about that duster, sir.

[useofaswhat]

Dustwhat? You mean the coat, son?

[andaskmewhatisee]

He does have a way with trouble. [That is the one coherent sentence you'll get, Captain.]

Hellboat isn't accurate. No Beelzebub or pitchforks.

[useofaswhat]

You ain't around to keep him out of it. [So now he has to find it all on his own.]

Not yet, but that don't mean there won't be.

[andaskmewhatisee]

Fires don't burn in space. Not logical.

You should buy ballet shoes.

[useofaswhat]

It don't, but there's plenty about this place don't strictly follow any logical rules.

Sounds like something to talk to your brother about, liànrén*. Never planned on bringing back souvenirs.

*Sweetheart

[andaskmewhatisee]

Not for me. There's a broken girl you have to fix. Different kind of broken. No needles in her eyes, no blue hands. [She is dangerously close to a panicky tangent.]

Won't be able to bring back anything.

[useofaswhat]

There ain't a thing that gets by you, is there? [All right, impending panic – Simon is the one who deals with this, not him. The best he can do is change the subject.] So you say ballet shoes, huh?

[andaskmewhatisee]

Ones on fire. [One day she will speak literally and it will be glorious. But at least it's making her calm down. She seems to get taller in the video, rising to her toes.]

They can't burn when you fly.

[useofaswhat]

[There are times when River speaks almost coherently or with her own crazy kind of poetry and Mal understands her with only the slightest bit of pause. This is not one of those times. This particular odd pronouncement just befuddles him.]

Uh...huh. And why're they better off on fire again?

[andaskmewhatisee]

[She gives him a look like he's the one being incomprehensible.]

Can't dance to what you don't like. Don't want to do the steps. Can't follow through. [She's actually walking very gracefully on her toes, on the cat walk in Serenity's bay.]

Don't hear music for a while; when it comes back, do you listen to something ugly?

[useofaswhat]

[The ballet thing he can put together, and even the part about not dancing to what you don't like, but the rest is too tangled for him to undo.]

Wǒ tīng bù dǒng*, little River. 'S there a way you can say what you're sayin' in dummy-talk?

*I don't get it.

[andaskmewhatisee]

Ask Simon. [He's the dummy. Maybe he'll translate for you, Mal. She frowns then, because she doesn't like that Simon is there at all.]

Should be with Serenity.

[useofaswhat]

I'll do that.

Should be with you, you mean. [Assuming they're both talking about Simon.] Don't you worry. Like I told Zoë, we won't be gone but a couple minutes.

[andaskmewhatisee]

I am Serenity. [Or she was for a little while. Or will be. When are you from, Mal?] Simon said. Can't be here and gone at once, can't be in too places. Math doesn't add up. Doesn't make sense.

[useofaswhat]

Still? [Well, "still" might be a bit unfair, considering he left but a few hours after River guided him to jettison Jubal Early. It may yet be the same day for her.] Plenty of things don't make sense, but that don't mean they don't happen.

[andaskmewhatisee]

Can leave Serenity. Serenity never leaves you. [She's probably talking about the ship. She might be talking about war. Who knows.]

Should come home.

[useofaswhat]

No, she don't. [That? That was one of those crazy-poetical comprehensible moments he understood perfectly.]

We will.

[andaskmewhatisee]

Soon. [These are her judging eyes.]

Vera has delusions of grandeur. Jayne too.

[useofaswhat]

Zoë'll handle Jayne. Tell you what, you keep an eye out and tell her if you see anything, okay?

[andaskmewhatisee]

I'm very watchful.

[useofaswhat]

Good. You keep your watch.

[andaskmewhatisee]

Aye aye, Captain.

[anidiotchild]

I'm fine, Captain. Thank you for asking. [It's maybe a little passive aggressive, why are you telling River he went crazy. :|]

[useofaswhat]

[Because you did, Simon, and you'd want to know if she suddenly had a burst of sanity, right?] Good t'hear. Won't do the ship much good when the medic's outta commission.

[anidiotchild]

[THAT'S DIFFERENT. B(] Well, I'm happy to report we're all relatively stable and on call if you need us.

[useofaswhat]

[HOW IS THAT ANY DIFFERENT?] Good. Not that I'm intending to need stitching up soonish, if that don't make your day worse.