001 ✫ Video

[useofaswhat]

Afternoon, folks. – Evenin', now. [The man on screen clears his throat and nods in greeting, a little awkwardly. (And no, he's not actually wearing a floral bonnet. Today.)] This Admiral fella wanted a handful o' help and thought I was the man to give it so wǒ zài zhèlǐ. Name's Captain Reynolds, Mal if you ain't one to stand on ceremony. I'm sure it's fine to meet you all, and if it ain't, you go ahead an' let me know. [There's a smile purely for the sake of decorum, which drops off his face almost immediately as his eyes rake over something off-screen, as if reading.]

Let's see what we got here, then... Prison ship, eight levels and two additional restricted areas, complete with library, common rooms, medbay, an' my personal favorite, fully stocked kitchen. Probably serves better'n protein too. Laundry services, showers, art therapy facilities, and gardens included. Now that don't sound like any prison I ever been to. Hell, y'all even got a bar? Got quite a slick operation here, real nice 'n cozy.

But it still ain't as good as my boat.

Comments

[Warden Filter]

[useofaswhat]

[Asking is actually on the "extremely polite" side for him. He even prefaced the question with a warning! This is Mal at his classiest, for what little that's worth.] Gotta thank you for that, ma'am. They're very nice shins.

Bet you get that round the clock, huh?

[Warden Filter]

[scentbombed]

It comes up on occasion. [Dry as a bone.]

But better asked and answered, isn't it? It's all right. I've been told bites are a worry, too, so I may as well tell you: I don't, and if I did, it wouldn't do anything to you except make you go "Ow."

[Warden Filter]

[useofaswhat]

Can't imagine why.

Considerin' we got that outta the way I wasn't gonna ask, actually, but glad to hear it. Dunno about werewolves but I've seen wolf bites before an' they ain't pretty.

[Warden Filter]

[scentbombed]

Oh.

Well, I really don't, anyway. In practice the only difference is that I know what you all smell like and sometimes manage to find whoever the latest Barge killer is.

[Warden Filter]

[useofaswhat]

Gonna apologize for that bit in advance, then. [Clearly he's going to need to freshen up.] But leastways it's got its advantages, fellas like me aside. You get a lot of killin' on this Barge, best to have you around.

[Warden Filter]

[scentbombed]

Apologize for what? Do you do a lot of killing we should know about?

[Warden Filter]

[useofaswhat]

No, not one for killin' unless someone else tries to start the job. Just meant I might need a bit o' freshenin' up.

[Warden Filter]

[scentbombed]

Oh. [She hesitates, because she doesn't want to be creepy, but...]

I'm, er, sure you'll be all right. My city is basically medieval. There aren't a lot of regular showerers there. [...Also she's pretty sure you're just down the hall from her, because you look like you'd be the one that smells of dust and metal and leather on top of all the Man Smell. But she's pretty sure mentioning that would be creepy.]

[Warden Filter]

[useofaswhat]

[Thank you for refraining from creepiness, Angua. That'd be him.] Load off my mind. Still, seein' as how we got showers here I might's well make use of 'em.

[Warden Filter]

[scentbombed]

Well, I can't say I don't appreciate the effort, Captain.